Casa Robino

See original: How to See the World: Art of Travel; European and World Backpacking; On $25 a Day or Less

06/04/09I have to admit that the first leg of this trip silled me with energy, making me not depending on people, but dependable. Not overly confident, but I sure feel much better. I'm starting to really appreciate Turkey, with its concrete, its dirtyness and its proub people. I might come back here to work a few months before heading to Asia. Apparently, working as a nanny pays quite a lot, but it's hard work too. Taylor, if there's anything I should hate about you, it's that you brought me back on the road, where I realy belong. I'm not sure I'll ever get out of it. And now that I am out of Istanbul, I can really downsize my life to the level I wish for. Learn. Listen. Smile.Te extrano.---Ankara - 07/04/09It seems somehow that my personal little monsoon is not over. Music brought me on the edge of crying, tears filled my heart and got stuck in my throat. Feeling better doesn't mean feeling good yet, sadly. I guess I shouldn't have listenned to music again - I'm sure that's what made me dive again so deep in my emotions. In my head I write letters to a lot of people such as Taylor, Megan, Ulf. It's always about feeling hurt and being or having been in love.I think I should isolate myself a bit, my honeymoon-like last days made me totally overlook that I have huge problems living the here and now. I'm not really enjoying my time off. I'm just trying to find ways to fill the months to come, realize stuff, feel less empty and brokenhearted."I just got out of my cave because a kiss took root in me and its petal had to be blown through a digital wire or wireless network, landing on your forehead as you are reading this email. I hope it finds you well. AM"Unsent emailEvening -I feel like I've got to write and write but I get so tired. I've got so much and so little to say. My Turkish is improving - I'm starting to understand bits and pieces of conversations. I feel I've got to carry on doing this, but I can't really pinpoint a reason why. Why Turkey? Why Turkish? Even if I asked you, you couldn't answer me, right? It's nothing that we could have expected, right? I decided to delay my trip to Cappadocia by one day. I feel so tired. I need sound sleep before going anywhere. I need to get the drama out of me. I've had such a sense of drama lately, I've impressed myself. Passion I guess. Insane passion. Very insane.Back to some mundane topics: toilets. I decided that from now on I'd use Turkish toilets everytime its possible for several reasons. I realized that our western toilets are wasting ridiculous amounts of water. Also, I wanted a more simple lifestyle, more humble - this is certainly teaching me humility - Finally, it's also a question of culture, or rather cultural immersion. If I want to live with less desires, I've got some comfort to overcome, comfort that is unreal, like sitting and wait until my shit gets out of my guts. It's not an absolute comfort, I suppose.

See original: Hitchhiking Eskisehir - Ankara

Playing pois with street musicians. I enjoy their music with accents of the Balkans. I can't play pois for long, but I really appreciate being part of it so easily. I really suck at pois, but who knows it? Who notices it? The rule of the street seems to be something like "just to it". Let's kill Nike, they made of a pure statement pure commercial bullshit... But artists certainly have something to teach people. Just do it. I'm just doing it. No excuses. Are you just doing it? I guess I should hang ou with them more often. I feel almost good. While I was playing I was just floating, not thinking.The wheel of sharing is spinning again, and I have a new camping mat. Do you realize I would have lost an opportunity to receive? Not only did I spare 10 Turkish Liras, but I received an item with some history, a life. I received a gift, that person is a "friend" now, bound to me by solidarity. And it made me feel better on this rainy day.I still miss Taylor, but today it has nothing to do with suffering. I'd like him to see what I strive for, to witness bits and pieces of my life. To encourage me with one look. Or maybe just to exist. Am I on a way to letting go? This can only come with renouncement or self-realization. I'll try to go both ways at the same time. I just have to start one firstly. I guess it has to be renouncement.

See original: Eskisehir