It's time to leave. If you were wondering why I didn't take any exciting pictures during this month of travelling, is because I've been strongly advised to leave my camera home. And my cell phone, too, although I didn't do it. Everything you have with you can be used against you if you're arrested. Having certain numbers in your phone can cost dear to your friends, and to you, even if just your friends have numbers of people. Not people that have killed or beaten up someone. Just people who were involved in a group, in a movement. A group that even in a democratic regime apparently has no right to exist, or to gather its members in a public place and speak up their mind. People whose only crime is to refuse to sit down.
I might be exaggerating a bit. Maybe I am. Or maybe it's those who since last Friday have arrested nearly 2000 people. I's stunning to see how the police think anarchists work. They think there is a leader of the anarchists. That if you arrest the spokesmen, the group is headless. Funny. Or tragic.I have no problem to say that I'm different. Going to the street and scream my rage, it's not me (although I was there, but silently marching). Joining the action to break in and take over the climate summit, that's not me either. Even supposing that might succeed, then what am I supposed to say to the people there? Please, dear prime ministers of the so-called developed countries, can you try to be a bit less capitalistic? Can you put aside your lobbies and corporate interests? And be, maybe just for one time, fair?I believe neither in democracy, nor in revolution. I have respect for those who do though. Democracy is a dream long dead. Those who say that anarchy is not realistic and as a proof try to demonstrate that there never was a real anarchist state (state?), should please name one republic or whatever that has really been or is truly democratic. And please, leave that ancient Greek bullshit - nice words sure, but as long as I know it was only in a few places, that would maybe count as a few thousand inhabitants, were women, foreigners and many slaves had no rights at all. Revoulution stinks of violence and guarantees no future. I want construction, not destruction. Anarchism for me means being free to construct something. In German it's called Bildung. I love this word: it contains the idea of educating (Ausbildung), of imagination (Einbildung), and of concrete realization, made of many, tiny bricks (bilden). I have reached the conclusion that those who really believe in democracy are more idealistic and unrealistic than those who, like me, rather believe in an inner revolution.The real problem is that some have arranged our lives in such a manner that the basic necessary requisites for this inner revolution to take place are missing since the very beginning. We are born, go to school, watch TV and maybe read a newspaper, go to work, and until we die we always listen to the same story, thinking we're really free to choose our own lives. We are only free to choose the life that someone has created for us, and that gets delivered through family, education, media. We are not forced, we are manipulated, which is different, because you can be forced to act in a certain way but you keep your own mind; if you're manipulated, you just act that way, thinking it's you who decides.Fascism is forcing others. I've seen it. I've seen it growing, on the streets. I've seen the police being given special powers, and taking over a whole advanced, 'democratic' country. Thousands of policemen constantly patrolling a relatively small city. Acting like wardens, the houses on the roadside the bars of your cell. Inside, you can mostly do what you want; but outside, there is always someone checking on you. And there are even more than you think. There are the noisy ones, going around playing with their sirens. They're not chasing someone, they're chasing everyone. They want to scare you and let you know who rules in this town. But there are also the silent ones, wearing kefiahs at the demonstrations and beating people up on the street and threatening them. Maybe I can also beat, handcuff and pepperspray someone on the street - people will think I'm an undercover policeman. Now they're used to seeing this.But there is also another fascism. Maybe that's not the right word for it, but I can't find another one. It's the violence of being manipulated since your arrival in this world. The violence of you telling your mum to buy you a toy you've seen on TV, to eat what you see on TV, learning useless or false things at school, of never having been taught how to improve the world around you, of you competing for better grades and that's it. Of getting a proper job, only to buy stuff you don't really need. Of having children that will do the same, if not worse. Of electing someone to govern you that doesn't care about you, or that acts according to the system. And all this, while the only one that bears the responsibility of what you do or think is but you. I am much more afraid and disgusted by this kind of violence, than by any other kind. Because while it's being perpetrated on me, I don't even realize it.I'm not saying that who doesn't realize it is stupid or even unlucky. Not at all. That's just the way it is. That's also what the human nature is about. You can read this, and go on with your life. I don't care. Eventually, happiness is nothing but a perception of happiness. In other words, an illusion is no illusion for who receives it, but only for who observes it. I have my own ones. All I ask is not being forced to live someone else's illusion, be it everybody else's.
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