'The ideal world' said Nietzsche, 'is a lie invented to deprive reality of its value, its meaning, its truth'.More and more I find myself unravelling false knowledge, teachings, mantras passed on through time. I see it in flashes, sometimes just for an instant. The nausea of a lived experience that is only skimming the surface, and then, all of a sudden, you are dragged deeper, plunged to the depths of new eyes. Things become heavy; you discard them. Waiting for joyous tomorrows is what kills our joys today. The future is worse than the ocean itself, for it contains nothing. Blueprints , plans, the long term view : castles in the air. A solidly constructed present is the only necessity - the rest will take care of itself.This is the most full I've ever felt in my life. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month and it matters little. Berlin splutters and roars before me and conversations..ideas..people explode around me. Yes, winter is here and while I have a roof over my head, nothing matters, I am on the verge of exploding myself. I am caught in the jaws of this great machine but the machine is starving; we don't need things any longer, and more than just a concept, it becomes the blood.I don't know if it's happiness but I catch myself smiling constantly; to be in places that I never imagined travelling to. I am another. Je suis un autre. Vraiment. Leave the skin behind. Schwester Katrei -Everything that is in me; everything that is outside of me; everything that is in me is all around me; everything that is in me is mine, and nowhere can I see anything that is not in me.A kind of mystical transformation, donald duck, you see?
See original: Kills our joys,
